Dear Future Husband,

Right now at this very moment I am witnessing a love story that helped me believe in a promise of “till death do us part”. My uncle died and his wife is left with a crushed heart. I know, it must have been painful but believe me, for me, this is the best part of every love story. They stuck together “for richer and for poorer” and remained in love until uncle’s last breath.

 

 As I daydream about you and me, I imagine strolling in a park, looking at the nature and telling the world about God’s love. I daydream about us spending time with the Lord and just really witnessing every moment of it. The thing is I am not ready as of the moment. I still have the things that I want to change and heal for when we finally see each other I won’t give you myself as bruised and broken. I want to love you as full as God’s love, no doubts and no fears. I love you with all my heart. I can finally say it right now.

 

Would you still marry me even if I can’t promise to stick with you through whatever? It’s my heart’s desire to minister and evangelize in marginalized countries. Would you stick with me or cling to every comfort that this life has to offer? I would understand that you would want to establish a family but are you willing to take the risk and go out to preach the Gospel even if it would delay our own dreams?

 

Believe me, I love you so much. When I see you I will prove it to you. You will be the other half of me that will make me look forward to every morning. Right now, God is preparing me for something that will glorify Him. I wonder if He is doing the same for you, I pray He does. Get busy living and we’ll meet even before we knew it. I love you.

 

                                                                                                                                                Your Future Wife,

                                                                                                                                                                Geoleena del Rosario

Hello guys

It’s been a month since I updated this blog but I just want you to know that I am struggling to write and I don’t know why. A lot has been happening in my life. I went back to College this June and I am so busy participating that I rarely have time to sit back and write. 

The thing is I wanted this blog to be my personal diary. Don’t worry, I assure you that it won’t be the usual hum-drum, boredom of my life. I would still write sensible entries I promise.

I wonder though, would I still have readers? Hmm..

Current State of Life

The thing is I was scared of writing again here in my blog, the fact that some of my readers are people who are already deep and faith and much older than I am. I feel that what I would write would become irrelevant. But still, here I am pouring my heart out and I feel that I have at least the right to share some of my stories in a hack-prone society. So here it goes,

 

I trust Jesus, I love Him. That’s what I always claim but I have a real big struggle when it comes to relationships. Guess what a teenager like me must have felt when someone who has cute eyes walks in the room and told me that he likes me ever since we’re young. I fell in love. The thing is we don’t have the same belief (I won’t bother mentioning it here). So, even after four attempts of trying to associate a life together, we failed. It still hurts remembering how much I tried reaching out to him. Still in this day, I realized I am still pining for him. He never once mentioned that he still likes me when we’re out with friends. He just carried me in his back once I was drunk (well, I did it once!), brought me home and didn’t even say goodbye.

 

Goodbye is the hardest word. To this day, I am still trying to kick out my feelings for him. I no longer want to like him as much as I do. The fourth and final try must have said something; it’s not worth my time. “Love conquers all.” My friend told me last night. Maybe, if the love is right and the other person is fighting too. He never chose to fight for me. The fact that he gave up is a thing I admire the most, I wish I have the same courage.

 

So, as I am writing, God must have gave me the courage by trying to put it in words, I no longer hold him. I am letting go and letting Him finish this chapter.

 

In a world where there are certainties and many blockings covering the real ones, I am glad I’m done with that one. I am not mad at him, no and never. I know how a boy’s mind works and it’s not his fault for no longer liking me.

 

Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow I’ll be okay. Love lost, found and lost again. One day I’ll meet the one I am always waiting for.

 

Today, I will rediscover myself. Love myself a little, maybe? Godbless me in my soul searching and I hope you find yourself too. I already know where I can rest my soul, my true lover is watching over me, waiting for me to hold His hand tighter this time.

 

How romantic it is that someone would let go of my other hand when the right person comes.

 I am waiting. Love is waiting.

 

 

My 19 year old self

 

Nineteen years of existence and I know there’s still a lot to learn. I know that life has been really temperamental for me or maybe it’s just because I am still adjusting to the adult life.  All in all, life has been good and I’ve been enjoying it for quite some time now. I have always wanted to share my life to people but I was afraid that I am not interesting enough to waste time for.  I know I am not really a good expressionist and I tend to clam up most of the time. Conversations for me are never easy unless I know I am real familiar with the area and I say I have trust issues when the truth is I trust people easily and much more. I love how life is working and God designing every little circumstance because I know that in the end, all the good will prevail. I have always wanted to be a good girl but I have silly friends and I know I sometimes act like them. I love people but I don’t know how to show them. See? This is the biggest problem. I’ve learned that life and people are interconnected. Certain happenings in life lead us to meeting this kind of person and finding out something about you. That person might hurt you, love you or just disappear before even saying goodbye. Life is full of drama. Imagine crying when you’re still young for petty things and still do even until you’re eight. Then those little trivial moments just come out us that, petty. When you encounter your first breakup you found out how it hurts big time like your heart is about to burst. When you get married, those things turned out to be laughing matters that make us laugh during dinnertime. People survived. It’s the truth that we never realize. The things that we thought would kill us even made us stronger (sorry for the cliché).

 

Yes, I am nineteen and there’s still a lot to learn but I just love chronicling moments in life where I’ve learned. Since, life is short and there’s no formula for enjoying it I am just planning to be myself.  Let’s plan to be ourselves! Cheers to people who knows how to be true, stay that way.

 

Dear Readers,

Thank you so much for reading my posts. I know some of you read my blog for Christian-themed posts but the truth is I don’t necessarily write stuff that is like that. I write about what I learned and I realized that God is there all the time. My life has been good and I am planning to continue to live like this until God tells me to stop. So, come on. Let’s all be ourselves that God wants us to be. I love you all and I will write even there’s no one reading. Greet me Happy 19^th! Let’s live!

 

Sincerely yours,

Oleen D.

Forgiveness

When was the last time you assured someone that you have forgiven him or her? Like, you really mean it and there’s not even a hint of bitterness? Do you still remember the last time that somebody offended you when you least expected it? Do you still remember when a person you considered a friend suddenly betrayed you? Those moments of sudden hurt will always be there whether we like it or not. Its inevitable fact of life that will keep on happening until we’re 90(okay, 50) is a cycle that we have to learn how to handle despite the pain it causes.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

-Mahatma Gandhi

 

Our fallen world usually tells us that divorce, cheating and infidelity are good. Movies tell us that sex is okay and the song tells us that it’s okay to take revenge. But, seriously look into your heart and be true to yourself, is this all you crave for? I always tell my friends not to intentionally hurt someone because it might create a domino effect. “Please, don’t do that, it might hurt you, hurt that person and that person might hurt another innocent person.” I understand that you are hurt and that it sucks to see that person go on with his life while you are left to pick up the pieces. Bitterness usually results to us being blinded by the true desires of our hearts. Our heart desires what is real, what is good. When we deny it and resort to what this world is telling us we fall into trap and lose our hearts in the process. Don’t lose your heart.

 

“After all these things I’ve done, I think I love you better now.”

-Lego House, Ed Sheeran

 

Love is all we need, actually. “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Jesus himself told us so. God loves you that much to live a life of an abandoned soul. An abandoned soul is the one who never got the chance to forgive and understand others. Look into the eyes of others, the offender. Don’t let that person define your life. Don’t let the hurt turn into hate. It’s okay, cry it out, shout it out and think about how to get even- for a while. But let me tell you, don’t let it ruin you. Move on and forgive.

 

When you refuse to forgive, you create a wall that makes you too careful, of course you have to learn your lesson but it doesn’t mean that you have to be too guarded. Stay vulnerable but real and wise.

 

Forgiveness. Ah, when I think about that word I think of many people that I haven’t forgiven. Maybe, now is the time to forgive. How about you? Are you ready to forgive? 

The perks of being an introvert

Introversion- An inclination or tendency toward introspection

Introspect- examine one’s own thoughts and feelings

 

The so-called silent types, supladas or suplados, the ultra-sensitives and other adjectives people used to describe the people who are introvert. But what is really being an introvert look like?

 

Being an introvert doesn’t mean being an outcast. Introverts are not really shy people. It has nothing to do with being shy. They are smart people who choose to isolate themselves because being around people for a long time drains them. All people gets tired and introverts usually find rest in solitude and thinking- contrary to the common motion that being alone means depression. It is just their means of recharging themselves. They are thinkers and they love analyzing their thoughts and feelings. They also love meaningful conversations but they are usually about concept and creative ideas. They make up off 60% of the gifted population.

 

 

Being an introvert has a lot of perks (I must know, I am one!) but it also has disadvantages. But I only want to talk about the bright side for now. So, if you are an introvert, read on! For those who are not, this might help you understand your friends a little better!

 

1. Introverts are easily pleased with nature and simple things like books and sunsets.
2. They develop few but deep friendships since they don’t really open up to people that easily.
3. They create less trouble at home since they have the tendency to just stay at home and don’t get bored.
4. Solo projects are no biggie, thus advantage.
5. They are driven and focused on a certain task at hand.
6. Their friends are usually older than them since they don’t really talk about things that their age worries about.
7. They don’t feel obliged to smile all the time, just because.

 

 

If you find yourself smiling and agreeing with some of the points above then you must be a certified introvert. However, some introverts outgrow being themselves because of new environment they open up into. Understanding that you are wired like that because of a reason will help you accept how wonderful God made you. How about you? Are you the introvert or the other way around? Let’s swap stories.

Live Now (Don’t die before your time)

 

 We all have questions in our heads, questions that we sometimes find hard to answer, questions that we are afraid to know the answer. Usually, it is the latter. Like the question, “If you die now, what you’re life have became?”

 

As humans we have a tendency to clam up and just shut off our feelings because of fear. I recently had an experience of being out of place. It was during one of the latest youth gathering. My friends are having their own conversations while I was there sitting in a corner, feeling it would be better if the floor would just swallow me right there. I went home feeling dejected cursing the evening, vowing I won’t attend another youth gathering again. As I am writing this, I realized I was just sad during that time. Loneliness is not an enemy but what we do with it is what makes us sin. Sin is a dirty word but it defines us nonetheless. We sin when we let ourselves wallow in sadness and die before our time.

 

“For all of a sudden, when I saw those lights, I said to myself, Ivy this is your life. This is your real life and you are living it. Your life is not going to start later. This is it, it is now. It’s funny how a person can be so busy that they forget this is it. This is my life.”

 

-Lee Smith

 

 

The question I want you to answer: 

Are you alive now?

If not what are the things that hinders you from being so?

Relationships? Unfulfilled dreams? Fears? Past?

 

 

Ecc. 11:7-8,CEV

Nothing on earth is more beautiful than the morning sun. Even if you live to a ripe old age, you should try to enjoy each day because darkness will come and last a long time.

 

 I can’t tell you to stop worrying since I am no God. What am telling you is that you can’t just stay there in your room forever doing nothing while the world passes you by. You were made for more than the painful experiences you’ve had. You have today, you have a life. Restart your dreams, play the piano again, read a good book, fall inlove. Let go of the little fears that are dragging you down. Live now or regret it later. Don’t die before your time.

 

“There’s a time and a place to die but this ain’t it.”

-Now, Paramore

When LOVE isn’t safe

 They say love is all we need, love will set us free.  So why is this love hurting us? Why this love leaves us empty. Is love really harmless or just an illusion that taunts us and make us look like a fool?  

 

Let me take you to the Truth: Love isn’t safe.

Who says that risking your whole self is safe? It is not. Love means giving yourself up no matter who you are, no matter how many scars you have. Does that sound so inviting? Maybe. Who doesn’t want her to be accepted by others the way that she is. Yet, are you willing to be vulnerable and let the world know how unworthy and filthy you are? Do you want them to know that you used to still coins from your father’s pocket? Do you want them to hear the way you back stab your friend? Do you want them to see how many times you undress that woman in your thoughts?

So who says love is safe?

Yet, I know someone who loved us and still loving us despite of everything. He was taken by the Roman soldiers and crucified because of love. Now, tell me, does loving sounds safe to you?

If I were to speak, I can say I love the people around me especially my family and those closest friends I have. But ask me about giving away myself without getting something in return might leave me hanging for a minute or longer.

 

Yet, love is calling you…

 

And love was demonstrated by that man called Jesus. He calls you. He wants to love you. He wants to know you (though, He knows how many strands of hair we have), He wants us to love him too.  He took the risk, won the war for us. Now, are ready to say “Yes” to the most unsafe love?

 

Experiencing God’s Best

How beautiful every morning is! It gives us new hope, new beginning and new dreams to fulfill. Unfortunately, not all of us are full of glee with every morning that comes. Frustrations of yesterday still creep its way back into your head leaving you lonely and afraid to face the day ahead. But, let me tell you honey, yielding into frustrations will only lead you to depression and the distance you imagine between God and you will only thicken as you focus on the problem and not on the solution-which is inside of you.

Inside you are a powerful being, made by God in His own likeness. You are more than the birds in the sky. What are you worrying about? Debts? Relationships? Let me burst your bubble, God knows that, actually.

 

Experience God’s Best Everyday

Let me share to you something. Last Friday, I woke up with a not-so-good mood and I was suddenly aware how I can go a day without even praying even though I want to just because I don’t feel like praying. Feelings are fragile and God wants our feelings submitted to Him. And I also believe that our brain is there for a reason. So, I opened my devotional, found out it’s all about asking Him about anything. It hit me. I haven’t asked anything from God for quite some time now. I prayed harder, asking what I should pray about. As my day went by, a sudden thought entered my mind.

 

“I realized I don’t need to feel God’s presence all the time. Just the thought that He is there and will always be is enough. Faith isn’t about feelings after all.”

 

It is more that what I asked! I believe God put that thought in me. We don’t need to wait for our feelings to change or wait for the situation to lighten. God is there even we don’t feel it. We just only need to believe it, cling to it.

 

So when you wake up every morning, say to yourself how blessed you are and God knows you and loves you, even if you don’t feel it yet.

 

 

 

My 2013 Tools.

I know this one’s a very personal post but I just want to share how an eighteen-year old deals with life through simple things that this world has to offer. Okay, maybe I exaggerated a lot but here it goes:

 

This is my planner for 2013, it’s a free planner from one of my aunt’s book supplier, I just transformed it by putting on wrapping paper and some of my pictures, at the back

I know, putting them on the front would make me so conceited!

 

The next one is my new devotional!! It’s a gift from a friend! This one’s really for missionaries not just overseas but also missionaries at heart 🙂 It inspires me to have a missionary heart every day! 🙂 

This one’s my first book of the year! I so love the title! Strong women, strong hearts. I’m planning to make a review for this awesome book, I find it very suited for women and it will bring back your heart and make you feel alive again 🙂

And since, I am an aspiring musician, this is my new lovey ❤

So, there. Thank you for taking time to read this post! I love you all readers! 🙂 Love love love! Godbless!